Recently again I’ve been hearing the statements about ‘at least having one child’ and ‘you should be happy’… I have just read another bereaved mother’s words who has put it so eloquently, talking about her rainbow baby: ‘They soothe your pain and fill your aching arms. But they cannot heal your heart. They cannot fill the space that belongs to their sibling.’
That’s exactly right. Ananda Mae does not fill the space that is left empty as her twin sister has passed away. Of course I had and always have to deal with a different story to mothers who experience stillbirth, yet one child does not ‘make up’ for another. Even though I brought home ‘a’ baby, my body carried twins, my hopes were for sisters to grow up together, my dreams included them playing together…
Yes, I’m grateful to have Ananda Mae, of course, how could I not. That’s not to be questioned. I love her to bits. And I also do know that I am meant to mother 2 children. The wish for a child does not have a logical timeline and does not work on rationally making sense of percentage of chances.
Living Without My Twin Sister 
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