Stages of Grief

~ you will never be forgotten ~

~ you will never be forgotten ~

I’ve been reading a lot about the stages of grief by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, bevor the death in my family and also after. Her book ‘On Death and Dying’ is a must read for anyone who has no choice but having to deal with death and who’s interested to understand more about the topic.

She talks about the 5 stages of grief:

  1. Shock / denial
  2. Anger
  3. Depression
  4. Bargaining
  5. Acceptance

Rather than stages where, once gone through them you’ll return to a ‘meaningful life’ I’ve come to understand grief on a personal and professional level as a grief cycle: We go through the stages again and again. Sometimes it seem that we haven’t progressed at all, as we are yet again facing anger, for example. It still means progress because the anger will have changed, not necessarily become easier to deal with but you will have gone deeper in the process of grieving.

I guess I have become less social due to my process of grieving and some people find it hard to just be with what is in the moment, which adds to the social alienation.

Just recently I read a post from another grieving mother on Facebook, which I found very useful, especially in the case of loosing a child:

The 10 stages of a mother who has lost a child.

1. Shock- You don’t know what is happening
2. Comprehending -what happened to my child
3. Questioning-why my child
4. Lose Faith-Am I being punished for something I did wrong
5. Blame-If only I would’ve done this
6. Guilt- Why am I alive and my baby’s not
7. Acceptance- My child is gone
8. Depression- I can’t cope
9. Grieve-Repeating steps 1-8, maybe all in one day, maybe in a
different order, maybe some more than others
10. Bereavement begins
Steps 9-10 have no limit, it could possibly be a lifetime of healing.

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