Who’s Counting?

~ This is my Hope ~

I have experienced my child passing away in my arms… 21 months and 6 days ago.

I have experienced my mother’s dispair and her finally leaving life… 17 months ago minus 10 days.

I have experienced 2 miscarriages… the last one just 7 weeks ago.

(And I still notice some challenge in writing words like dying, committed suicide… even though I have become friendly with death.)

Recently I’ve been reading about ‘ranking grief’ and been thinking about what happens for me. Each of those death bear significant grief for very different reasons. The common theme is MEANING, different meaning for the different stories.

So who is counting? Who is counted?

According to family constellation, every being counts fro the moment of conception. So when I recently took part in a family constellation workshop and was asked: ‘How many children do you have?’ the answer was 4.