Today is the second anniversary of my mother’s suicide. I spent the day very consciously aware of this day 2 years ago and what must have happened for my mother to take that step. We will never know the intrinsic details.
In the days leading up I had been asked multiple times, how I was feeling leading up to today. Checking in again and again I am “in a good place with my mother’s decision”. It also means I miss her presence and especially her presence in Ananda Mae’s life, which she would have loved to take as a proud grandmother.
I spoke to all of my closest family members and checked in on how they were going. Not surprisingly to me, I was the one asking… I had some interesting conversations and made some revelations, I had not known before.
This is what I call “Conscious Grieving” – being mindful and attentive to what would reveal itself. I find it interesting to see the development that has occurred within the last year. Looking back over posts written in 2013 one call tell… what sometimes goes unnoticed on the dark walk through grief land.
I wonder what this 19 January will look and feel like in years to come… one thing is sure: You will never be forgotten!