I Remembered…

You Never Know When It Next Hits You – Grief…

I’m not shy to expose myself to the stories of families grieving for the loss of their children.

Some of you might think: ‘Why expose yourself to that?’  

The answer is simple: Grief, the emotion felt when remembering the loss of Amya is there whether I meet it or not. It does not just go away because I don’t feel it for a moment. One father in a support group of parents dealing with the loss of their babies pre or post birth once put it poignantly: ‘Why would I want the pain to end? The pain is the very connection to my daughter.’

Today I read the story of a family who lost their 4 year-old son. Today I met my own grief. It doesn’t happen every time I read stories like theirs, but it happens when a memory gets triggered. Heather, the mother of the boy, described the last bath they gave to their son and suddenly I remembered.

~ precious memories ~

~ precious memories ~

I remembered her last and only bath.
I remembered my first time giving a bath to my baby.
I remembered her tiny body in my hands.
I remembered her head covered in dark hair.
I remembered her tiny hands and fingers.
I remembered the soft pink color of her face.
I remembered her tiny red lips.
I remembered the gentleness with which we stroke her skin.
I remembered the sorrow of knowing that this will be the only time.

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