Gone, Gone, Forever Gone

~ <3 ~


As I’m approaching the first anniversary of my Mother’s death I’m finding myself just a little bit challenged: even more angry than usually, less emotionally strong, wondering whether it’s just me… Oh yeah, what else would you expect?

Today when I mentioned to someone that I’m still really angry at ‘my Mum leaving us’ she gave me some suggestions like ‘maybe you should try to be compassionate?’ She meant well. I’m sure. But no, I don’t need to be told ‘not to be angry’, that’s just the fastest way to get me angry…

The same person said that ‘as long as your mother is alive you’ll always be a daughter’. Well, she’s 64 and her mother is in the 90s so they do have some life experience but she has yet to experience being a daughter when the mother is dead. I know what she meant. She meant well…

It’s just that some people have no clue what the effect is of what they are saying. Even though they mean well, they have absolutely no idea. Especially around an anniversary of death. Really, don’t tell a grieving mother or daughter what it means to be with or without a living mother. Whether you have experienced it or not, it will be personal in any case.

I live with a dead mother and a dead daughter. I’m still alive. And even though they might be physically dead, I have a relationship with them nonetheless. Sometimes this relationship can be more challenging than when both people are alive. Believe me, I’m there. I’m living it.



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