Looking Good doesn’t have to mean Feeling Good

~ looking good doesn’t have to mean feeling good ~

“You look good!” 

I had a conversation with my dear friend who recently lost her son in an accident. Like myself, she’s been hearing people tell her that she looked good. I’m sure you have experienced times when people comment on your outside looks without having any clue of what’s really going on on the inside.

We were talking about the meaning of the phrase. I noted that she looked ‘a bit less heavy’, something that was showing on her face beyond make-up or hair (nothing to do with her physical weight as she is and always was slim). I was wondering how many people really comment on the changes that they see or the changes that they feel and how many are just hoping that we, grieving mothers, finally feel better.

I noticed in myself that there are times when I’m tired of drama, tired of feeling either physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually exhausted and just hope to feel ‘my normal self again’. When I say that out loud, my husband instantly asks: ‘What’s normal anyway?’ Ok, that’s a good question. I used to assume that feeling fit and energetic was ‘my normal’ until the opposite experiences of myself become the norm, meaning ‘experienced on a frequent basis’.

My twin pregnancy was challenging, at least that’s what I read in the journal that I kept during that time. I used to say that those people who thought ‘being pregnant was the best time of my life’ mustn’t have had any good times otherwise. Now, I have forgotten how little I was able to eat, how climbing one flight of stairs made me breath like a hippo or that ‘morning sickness’ was experienced as ‘all-day sickness’ for me in the first 5 months. Then again, my OB said ‘you’re doing really well’ so I must assume that there are others doing it much worse, or she was just very encouraging…

So what’s happening when we ‘look good’ but don’t ‘feel good’? Is it just about a good make-up or people encouraging us with their flattering comments? What do you think?


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